Now Playing: I will survive

Right at this very moment, you're writing a draft for your blog. You are finding it hard to keep your promise to yourself to update your blog weekly not because you have no time, but you're running out of ideas. You are not sure if anyone took a time to read your blog because you have no specific theme. You are blogging for yourself so that you could improve your way of writing.

Two days from now, you will be officially unemployed for three months. You are still trying your very best to beat the usual "6 months of bum life" by applying through  walk-in and online in different companies. You are starting to feel hopeless, but something came as a surprise: someone called then you still said "no".

You said to yourself that you have the right to choose; therefore, you have the right to say "no". Everyone says that you should not be picky on your first job, but you just want to use the skills you believe that you have. You wish to develop something new also.  It will take a very long ride to have a spot on the industry that you want, but that does not mean you will not go there someday.

Look and take the life after school as an adventure. This is a wild adventure, where you start from zero, despite the pressure you're feeling. You cannot deny that there is a competition in the real world, but you can avoid it.  Competition is a common event, where there will be labels. Labels are created to evaluate, rather than  to define you.

Think of all the times you thought that you can't ace your thesis presentation, the time that you're trying hard to find a thesis consultant, the time that you  thought that there's no way out of your irregular student life.  Guess what? 

From writing a draft, your group made the first three chapters, and survived thesis A. You moved to thesis B with the guidance of a person, you thought you would never found, a thesis consultant. (Thanks to your cousin, who helped you.) There you go, you survived.

You will find a job soon, after the trial and error operation. You will be accepted at the entry level of your career. You prayed so hard for this new adventure of making a living out of something.

Keep on praying. Keep on going.  You will be surprised to find out that sooner or later, you have  survived your adult life.

Post Graduation Rs (Reward & Remembrance)

No alcoholic drinks for me to devour, but I still have a graduation hangover. 

I felt beyond blessed to celebrate one of my greatest  achievement with my best support system, which is my family. 

My college journey can be summarized into a famous Tagalog quote,"Sa hinaba -haba ng prusisyon, sa simbahan din pala ang tuloy" , but for me, this should be " Sa hinaba-haba ng mga challenges sa school works, at sa iba't-ibang bagay, PICC pa din ako natuloy". 

I worked hard for this achievement, even though I did not graduate with flying colors, at least I managed to stay and feel alive. 

Aside from the usual family gathering, or I think it was more appropriate to call it as " stress-eating", there are good people, who gave me gifts, but there were two gifts I really appreciate the most. I enjoyed it too. 

My mom enrolled me in a swimming lesson with 10 sessions in Bert Lozada Swimming School at Parañaque Branch. I choose swimming training as a gift, rather than material things because I want to be more productive, while I am still unemployed. 

One of my closest colleague, Trixia gave me her very own painting on canvas. I named her masterpiece as "Change of Heart". If you know the band "The1975," A Change of Heart is one of their songs in their latest album called "I like it when you sleep, yet so unaware of it”.  In "A Change of Heart", my favorite lyrics would be:

I've been so worried 'bout you lately

"You look shit and smell a bit"

You're mad thinking you could ever save me

Not looking like that

You used to have a face straight out of a magazine

Now you just look like anyone

I just had a change of heart

I feel as though I was deceived

I never found love in the city

I just sat in self-pity and cried in the car

Oh I just had a change of heart

I also used these lyrics as a caption, when I uploaded her masterpiece on my Instagram. I believed  that this is a masterpiece of moving on from heartaches, and on choosing to love herself more. She said it may not look like me, but it represents me as a  strong ,caring, and  independent  women" kahit na hindi ko daw nakikita. I had felt so much pain, but I still have time for her. (daw) 

It was so overwhelming that there are who looked at me as an independent person, after all the years of trying so hard to bring back the confidence, and the self-love I had lost, because some people made me feel weak like a child, who can't go on her own. 

College memories will always remind me that I can, and I am growing up. 

In return,  I also wrote a poem for her , where I recalled all the times she finds it hard to love herself. I did not even bother to buy a gift for her, because syempre alam kong effort ang pinagmulan ng masterpiece niya, because she really got mad skills in painting, so I played around in my interest in poetry as well. 

I think there is no need for me to interpret the poem above, for I want it to be a little reminder for her;if ever she finds it hard again to love her whole own skin and life.