There were moments, I felt the beat of my heart, my voice shakes and I repeatedly told myself that "These too shall pass". I don't understand what is happening in my life right now, but I like to believe that everything is part of your plans, G. I am only asking for "guidance". I don't know if I can go far , but please help me to never give up on my dreams especially to myself.
For the past 3 months,I still got no response from a number of job applications. I failed my first ever aptitude exam. I don't have any financial contribution for my family's needs. I feel so lost. Since I am feeling this way, I revisit the letters that I kept ever since I was in grade 3 until now. I started keeping letters because a lot of my classmates gave me cards on my 9th birthday. From 10 birthday cards, it became 65 different cards &letters.
I read those letters hoping that I can bring back my self-confidence, hoping to remember that I did something good that made them happy, and most of all to remember that I became strong before ; therefore, I believe that I can do it again.
Looking back, I am happy to know that someone said these positive and heartwarming messages to me. Someone believes in my capabilities, although some of them are corny, and conyo:
"Maswerte ako at naging blockmate kita. Naalala ko pa iyong araw na una mo akong kinausap binigyan mo akong isang compliment. Naalala ko iyon dahil iyon ang nagpaganda sa araw na iyon. Ikaw siguro ang ray of sunshine sa likod ng madilim na ulapkasi sa isang taon na nakilala kita lagi kang ganon: laging nagsasabi ng mga bagay na nagpapasaya sa ibang tao, kahit hindi mo naman alam na ginagawa mo na pala iyon. "
Nakikita kong sinusubukan mong maging malakas sa gitna ng pagsubok. Ipagpatuloy mo lang yan. Sugod ka lang ng sugod. patungo sa iyong mga pangarap at wag kang matakot na pumalya, sapagkat lahat tayo ay dadaan sa ganyan at kung magkakaroon ng pagkakataon na ikaw nga ay magkamali, don't break character. Wag kang susuko.
Para sa akin, isa ka sa mga pinakamabait, pinakamatalino,pinaka-dedicated,pinaka-thoughtful at pinakamagandang nilalang na kilala ko.Salamat at sorry din para sa walang-sawa pakikinig at pagpasan sa problema naming lahat. Mas malakas ka kaysa sa ibang tao,pero hindi mo alam iyon. " -K.B., 2013
" To be honest, kayo po yung first ever na higher grade student na naging close ko that's why thankful ako kasi finally meron na din akong "ate" na matatawag, and mao-open up with since Im not close with my parents. " - I.M.J.L.
"Sana pag ganap na journalist ka na at pag-chef na rin ako.. just visit my five star restaurant and tell me na HS friends tayo at libre ka dun. Lec.. I'll sure miss you so much! :* kc naman wala nang mangungurot at mananabunit pagkikiligin o pag nababaliw siya." -M.B.G.F., 2011
"First of all, Happy Birthday!!! This letter is for you, so don't let anybody read this letter because this letter symbolized, how much important you are in my heart, and how corny I am.. You know you are a very first friend that I made a letter that really comes in my heart.. Promise. Im telling you the truth.. even I argue you everyday I'll never forget how much important you are to me."- J.E.DL.C., 2008
" It is a tough world out there (life after college, I mean) but I know you will handle it with grace, and success."-L.L., 2016
" I hope na maging journalist ka someday kasi yan talaga ang pangarap/talent mo eh!"-V.Y, 2012
"Thank you for being there always. Thank you for almost being a sister to me. You made me feel what it feels like to have a sister."- T.N.E., 2012
" I am also thankful na "frank" type of person ka, kaya mong sabihin kung ano yung mga opinions mo ng true. Honestly, yan yung isang personality mo na gusto ko, and also sa pagkakaroon mo ng "motherly-like-personality"honestly medyo nahiya ako kasi ikaw yung mas bata parang ikaw rin yung mas matured tignan satin, and I'm kind of jealous of that kasi ako medyo isip bata knowing na my age gap is three years older sayo". - G.A.D.L.P., 2015
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